Superheroes and salvation through destruction

It used to be I saw an article in a Lebanese newspaper, or watched something on television that got my juices flowing, prompting a post or two. Alas, last Tuesday, after hearing Nasrallah’s red lines speech, in which he declared himself and his followers an independent island within the sectarian archipelago that is Lebanon, what flowed were not my words, but my tears. I am ashamed to say that Hassan Nasrallah’s red lines, and Michel Aoun’s burning solutions made me cry.

When I saw the images of the rioters stealing gas and burning tires in protest of a comedy programme that supposedly parodied their divine leader, I realized the extent of the irreparable damage that has befallen the country.  Sick of Lebanese politics and the effects they have on me, I gave myself a break.

No wonder the National Dialogue failed to trigger my imagination. An “honor pact” to do what? Fine, let them agree on basic human behavior. This only reinforces my belief that this "dialogue" will never end because it has not even started.

I spent this past week reading a graphic novel by Alan Moore called the Watchmen, written during the cold war between the Soviet Union and the US. In the book, a former superhero, who goes by Ozymandias, and is seen as the smartest man on the planet, engineers a plot to massacre half of Manhattan's population to create the impression that the world is under attack by aliens. He figured that the two superpowers that were close to nuking the planet would be spurred to cooperate in view of an external threat, and that peace would soon prevail. His plan works, Russia withdraws from Afghanistan, and American fast food joints start serving Borscht.  And superheroes regain their status as watchmen of the world. Until the truth comes out…

My mind, polluted by Hizbullah’s invasive ideology, couldn’t help but strike a parallel between Nasrallah’s and Ozymandias’ actions, though their characters were vastly different. In the book, Ozymandias was well read, humble and a genuine pacifist. Nasrallah is a cultural terrorist, conceited and a war monger. The point of resemblance was in their self-appointed watchman status, and the context they’re in: a selfish world torn by wars and broken promises. And after all, you are what you do.

Anyway, to hell with politics and false heroes who believe in salvation through destruction.

Moving on, my favorite song these days is Amal Hijazi’s Bayaa’ al-ward (the florist). It’s the haunting video that mesmerizes me. Amal, in white hair, dressed in overalls, begins the video with scissors in hand. One short hair cut later, we see her attempt life after a broken promise.

“The florist asked
does he still love you?
what do I say?
I answered the florist:
my heart is still hanging on his promise,
but he’s occupied
he bid me farewell and traveled
no, no, he did not travel
he bid me farewell and traveled
no, no, he did not travel
he will return tomorrow and will give me flowers, always …”

Amal gets into her blue convertible and drives up the long and straight road of her lover’s broken promise. She cannot sleep, she sings, however she lives in a dream. The broken promise appears in a thorny plant that ravages her body as she drives, until her blue car crashes into a lone leafless tree by a lake at the edge of a mountain. And there, under the vast smoggy sky, she wakes up, blood on her thirsty lips. Her salvation, it dawns on her, lies in the water of the lake. Finally, Amal, takes the wet path to salvation...

Am I living a false promise by believing that Lebanon will one day succeed? When I decided that I could no longer live in my country, it was out of fear of self-destruction, much like Amal did in the video. I was too old to keep battling the thorns of Lebanese society, and not live my life to the fullest where I can. But look at me now. I may have left Lebanon physically, but I am still there in spirit. On Tuesday, the thorns managed to hurt again and caused my heart to bleed, despite the distance. For there was a person on television speaking on my behalf, setting limits I did not believe in, and reinforcing a reality that I chose to leave to him to shape. Do I even have the right to complain, let alone cry over a country I left behind? It makes no difference, for my actions then and now are the same, and the feeling cannot be helped, whether I am here or there. Lebanon is etched in my heart and my mind. My dreams are still set in my old Beirut apartment, where I grew up amid a bloody war. Every night, I go back to my old school that overlooked a Syrian missile launcher. And I sit in class listening to my favorite teachers as the explosions rock my classroom, and then I wait outside for my father to take me to shelter. And then I forget myself in my comic books, amid superheroes and infallible beings. And when reality beckons, I dive into biographies of great ones.

In 34 years, I have turned myself into an idealist from an evil, self-destructive world that haunts him no matter how much he tries to get away.

That is my predicament, and this is my blog.

Comments

[Moussa Bashir]

"That is my predicament, and this is my blog."

Whenever I read your posts, a lot of comments spring to my mind. I just don't write them. This post left me dumbfounded. Stirred my emotions more than any other before. I am sorry that my first written comment is simply 'no comment'.

[Doha]

abu kais,

As you probably saw in my latest post, I also did share some emotions and feelings about Lebanon, away from deep political analysis, but at the end of the day the sad part is when you get criticized for having the feelings you share.

I think it's a brave thing to share feelings and fears. Thank you for doing so.

[R]

hey there,
Upon reading your last post, I couldnt help but completely empathize with where you are coming from. I lived most of my life in lebanon and while the war ended when I was only 9 or 10, i lived all the upheavel that ensued, whether instigated by the lebanese themselves, their syrian opressors, or our crappy neighbors from the south. Three years ago I left for canada and am in the process of applying for immigration. since then this is my first visit to lebanon in 2 yrs. I am in beirut now, and in three years I can safely say with all that has happened since, nothing has changed. What I have learned here, though, is that the lebanese are too engrained in their ways to ever change. Secterianism is not at all more than it used to be, it can just channel itself now because the syrians arent here to mould or disguise it or ... Bottom line, while our hearts will always be in lebanon and while we will always think that the people here are suffering... that is not their impression. They live in ignorant bliss, deluded by sectarianism and venting out anyway they see fit. Even those who are not sectarian and who have western inclinations, have their own ways of venting, be it going out clubbing or engaging in political work (!)... They don't need or want our help unfortunately, the majority of the people only know and wnat what they have seen, the lebanon they have grown up in, different for each person, let alone sect, and struggling with an identity crisis... My advice, live life wherever your are, pursue your dreams and ambitions, try your best to help Lebanon if you must, but don't think that the lebanese want your help help or need it. Unfortunately they seem not only happy but invested in the status quo.

Cheers, and sorry for the helplessness expressed above.

R

[Odette]

Abu Kais :Your words wrung my heart out and put a lump in my throat.But R 's post brought the tears to my eyes .Walow ??? is this how hopeless it has become ???

[raja]

abu kais,

I broke a sweat reading your words. You go where very few of us dare to - yet this place is inside all of us.

[JoseyWales]

Rock of Tanios (by Amine Maalouf)

Abukais, yours is the story of the Leb emigrant.

Leb is our beautiful place/story, we'll miss it always. It gave us a lot, so maybe it's OK it's a source of suffering too.

Your kids will love it, but it won't torture them. Takes a generation to get over it.

tata

[Louis-Noel Harfouche]

AK, heart-rending as they are, your lamentations are the blind alley and histrionics of all of us who, in the end, left. Whether under duress, or by choice, we, in the end, abdicated and left. That is perhaps our destiny! These are perhaps our national--and dare I say "ethnic," perhaps even "biological"--instincts, etched as it were, in our DNA.

I know, the Phoenicians make a lot of us (not I) uneasy, and perhaps even angry. But maybe that's just who we are in end; a restless people, intrepid sailors, anchored in our mountains, but with lungs made for the open seas and the lure of "other" ports behind the oceans.

And there's perhaps a silver-lining in all of this--if I can piggyback on JW's reference to Maalouf's "le Rocher de Tanios":

"Sur les pas invisibles de Tanios, que d'hommes sont partis [...] depuis. Pour les mêmes raisons? Par la même impulsion, plutôt, et sous la même poussée. Ma Montagne est ainsi. Attachement au sol et aspiration au départ. Lieu de refuge, lieu de passage. Terre du lait et du miel et du sang. Ni paradis ni enfer. Purgatoire." (p. 276)

Or as my Master, Saïd Akl put in in "Cadmus" (Beirut, 1944, pp. 22 and 143)

[Europa, addressing her governess, Mira]:

I abandoned --O where is my mother's embrace?Where is the unmatched vigor and friendship [of my people]?
Where is the dignity and verve of my brother Cadmus, the zest of youth?
And where art thou, emerald villages, bursting with blue light,
perched in the neighborhood of clouds,
crossing into the Sun's playground,
laying my homeland on heaven's threshhold!
[...]
[Mira responding to Europa]:
Wasn't it you, my lady, who said:
"Send forth, from these shores,
First thing tomorrow at dawn,
A message of love, bursting with kindness,
Throughout the universe!
[...]
For, tomorrow they shall learn, how
Upon our ships, we have born
Guidance and tranquility to the universe.."
Therefore, what would you say,
If we were to name this Western wilderness after you? [...]
And would that be so strange?
Afterall, weren't we the first pioneers,
To have ever plowed this universe for its bounties,
And dreamt up glories, with eyes yearning for the stars? [...]
Be then, O wasteland,
A namesake for Europa,
The land of good tidings,
The land of reason,
The land of beauty!!!
[...]
Then, as our arms shall knock on the gates of this earth,
Enchanting her with streams and blooming fields,
[...] Our splendor as dauntless settlers,
Aboard mankind's first sailboats,
Shall go on tossing land, in the embrace of land..."

[Europa]:
[...] My land's compassion
Can contain this entire universe...
I [the emigrant, Europa] AM MY COUNTRY, and Lebanon is a covenant!
It is neither Cedars, nor mountains, or gushing streams,
My country is Love, there isn't rancor in true love;
It is Light that doesn't mislead: it is diligence,
And a hand that spawns beauty and wisdom.
Do not say "My Nation", and overrun the universe,
We are neighbors and kinfolk to Mankind!

(Akl published this in 1944. He wrote it, however, much earlier; in the midst of Europe's descent into the madness of its chauvinist pan movements, of which Arab nationalism is a descendent btw.)

So, perhaps that's what we are, AK! Un petit peuple, à grand destin.

[Amir from Tel Aviv]

I felt a tone of despair in what you wrote; don't think things went so bad as you described it.
Things change quit quickly in the ME in the last few years.
You cannot really expect what the future ( even the nearer one ) will bring with it.
So Nasraala said, so what?
He's just an insignificant particle in the region's game.
Wait hopefully; Lebanon I believe
has some vital hidden strengths
that will erupt one day.
.

[Ghassan Karam]

After having spent the last 3-4 weeks in Lebanon I have to endorse all the views expressed by R. The Lebanese have not changed much and very few have learned anything from the tragic events of the past fifty years. Sectarianism is entrenched , engrained and etched into the soul of most. The political stalemate will continueand the separation between the haves and have nots will widen. Immigration will not cease, corruption has become the system and no one is willing to acknowledge that a major problem exists. Polarisation is not dimminishing, introspection is non existent and common sense rarely makes an appearance. The current make up of the Lebanese society makes any meaningful movement towards modernity and democracy next to impossible. These are the facts of the Lebanese construct and any other explanation and lamentation is purely an exercise in wishful thinkging. I am of the opinion that Lebanon is destined to continue on its present path for the forseeable future, a path of political obstruction, economic stagnation and social inequity.

[The Perpetual Refugee]

You wrote that in 34 years, I have turned myself into an idealist from an evil, self-destructive world that haunts him no matter how much he tries to get away.

I don't believe that you are trying to get away from it. None of us are. If we were, we wouldn't be so tuned into the Lebosphere.

And I remain an optimist no matter what everyone else keeps writing. For God's sake, what are we comparing Lebanon to? The U.S.? Canada? It will not happen anytime soon and the expectations are too high.

Why not compare Lebanon to 10 years ago? Or 2? I travel back almost monthly and I see change. I see tremendous change. And when speaking with fellow Lebanese in Lebanon, I see them change.

I remain an optimist. And I will return.

[Anon in Beirut]

In my time in this Country (over two years now), which is not my own, I have followed all the political events and the feeling and opinions of the Lebanese people, from the assasination of Hariri onwards.

Why? I guess I have always been interested in International Affairs and politics, so it started out as a kind of fascination for me, watching from the outside looking in.

The the continuing attacks came, some of which were quite close to where I live, and in the mean time I had gotten to know the people of Beirut. I distinctly say Beirut because as someone who does not speak the language, it is much harder for me to meet people in other areas where English skills are generally not as good as they are in Beirut.

I found myself growing to love this Country and it's people, and after the elections I felt hope for them and their Country.

I have followed all the events since then, in my limited way, as an outsider looking in. At first I became angry and frustrated. Why couldn't the people see what was happening? why couldn't they put their sectarianism aside? I wanted so much (and still do) to see this Country prosper and take it's rightful place in the political and economic world. I see so much potential going nowhere.

Since the beginning of the National Dialogue I began to lose hope. Was the bickering ever going to end. Is there any kind of solution to the political and econimic problems Lebanon is facing? As the Dialogue went on and on all it became to me was a reason to leave for work early due to the traffic problems.

I am sure many people would have read the article in the Daily Star after Brammertz released his report, talking about Lebanese interests being much more focused on the World Cup than on the release of the report. I think that backs up R's opinion to an extent.

While I can never truely know what it is like to be a Lebanese Expat, I can empathise with your position. This country and it's people are now in my blood, a part of me, and when I return home I will continue to follow all these events from the safety of my comfortable western life.

I feel like I am betraying the people I have met, and the Country, by giving up hope, but I have simply ran out of hope.... used it all up.

I cannot influence these events in any way, as an outsider looking in, but I try anyway. I have been responsible for bringing over a dozen friends to visit me here, it's my little contribution to the economy, and they all return home to sing the praises of Lebanon, blissfully unaware if the issues that plague the people who post here.

Every day I wait for a sign that will renew my hope that Lebanon can have a stable future and a viable economy............. I am still waiting....... but I have run out of hope.

[Tom Grey - Liberty Dad]

Anon, please don't be silly -- this is GOOD, "Lebanese interests being much more focused on the World Cup than on the release of the report".

Those focused on politics are focusing on political results, meaning results based on violence (politics is war based mostly on threats) -- politics is NOT peaceful.

Rather, push personal solutions for personal problems thru peaceful, voluntary agreements and groups, communities.

Lebanon will likely follow, sometimes lead, Iraq in transforming the Middle East into a land of democracy, freedom, and tolerance between Shia, Sunni, Christian, Druze -- and even recognition that Jews are Human, too.
More like in 12-36 years than 12-36 months!

[from Michael Totten's blog]

[Tom Grey - Liberty Dad]

PS. I grew up reading comic books, too -- "Son, this is not a library", so I would leave one store for another. Too poor to buy...

[Free Cedar]

@Tom Grey - I resent the following statement: "and even recognition that Jews are Human, too." Lebanese have never had any thoughts that Jews were not human or sub-humans. There is no such prejudice against Jews and this is a farfetched allegation that I can not allow.

While I agree that Jews have been at times the target of certain attacks, it is important to note that the Jews of Lebanon were just one of Lebanon's 23 minorities with the SAME rights and privileges, and subject to the SAME political tensions. They have not been persecuted after the establishment of the state of Israel and it was the only Arab country where the Jewish population actually increased between 1948 and 1967. The fact that they left Lebanon is not due to persecution or the sense that Jews were (or are) not perceived as human. They left Lebanon because of the civil war and political tensions (although some refused to, lived there throughout the war and still live there today.) But so have many Christians and Muslims.

The Synagogue of Wadi Bujmil which has been severely damaged during the war is being gradually restored.

Many of my Jewish friends went to Lebanon and interacted with Lebanese of all faiths, they have never felt the need to hide their Jewish identity, and often realised that people were able to make the difference between religion, culture and government. The perception that Lebanese see Jews as enemies is completely false; they are able to distinguish between Israel (and its government) and Jews.

Obviously you still have some anti-semitism among certain person but as well as you have anti-Muslims or anti-Christians. This is not particular to Lebanon and it is not as widespread as many think. Western countries have the same problem.

Lebanese Jews are not forbidden to come back. And I do hope that they will, along with the rest of the Muslim and Christian Diaspora. For that to happen however, the country has many things to do.

Sorry Abu Kais if I went out of subject, but I just couldn't let that statement unanswered.

Coming to your post it was very moving; but I, on the other hand, still have faith and hope. I like to remain an optimist, perhaps and idealist, but things will change ... Just need to give it time.

[Aimei]

Well said Free Cedar!

[Anon in Beirut]

Tom, if I could understand your post I would respond.

Politics is not peaceful? Has been for 200 years where I come from......
And you should be attacking R not me, as my post clearly says that I was simply pointing out some evidence that backs up his post.

Free Cedar, I hope so! I must admit that my frustrations and loss of hope do have some selfish motives that make it harder for me to look at the long term view. You see, my time in your wonderful country will soon be at an end.But if things do improve after I have returned home, then you can bank on the fact that I will be back to celebrate with you all!

[Free Cedar]

Anon, those frustrations are normal. I also find myself extremely frustrated at times. The bickering, the poor state of the country, our uncooperative neighbor, etc ... But I don't lose hope, as I realize that a lot has been done. There is a real need for a change, I feel that part of the change in the mind of the people has been done; nonetheless, a real change needs to be made on the political arena. Need of new blood, new people, new leaders that have the vision and guts of accomplishing drastic changes.

Indeed, it's been more than a year already; but I'd like to add it has only been a year ... You can't change everything from a day to another. You need to give it time. Certainly, time will tell but I have hope and am optimistic as to Lebanon's future. The new generation is ready for a change (they have showed it), all we need now is a good leadership to carry on the path.

[The Sandmonkey]

nasrallah is not ozymandias. He is the comedian.

Now all we need is a ozymandias to throw him off the roof. Hmmm....

ps: also check out Kingdom come. It's a great one!