Forget land for peace, the roadmap and the war on terror. Italian porn star and former MP Ilona Staller (aka Cicciolina) has offered her body to Osama Bin Laden in exchange for world peace. Staller made two similar offers to Saddam Hussein in 1990 and 2002, making herself "available to make love with [Iraqi dictator] Saddam Hussein to achieve peace in the Middle East." Alas, Saddam turned her down and we got war.
Speaking at an erotic fair in Bucharest, Romania, Cicciolina said It is time someone did something about Bin Laden, and I am ready to do it.
"I am ready to make a deal, he can have me in exchange for an end to his tyranny. My breasts have only ever helped people while Bin Laden has killed thousands of innocent victims."
The blonde porn star, whose real name is Anna Ilona Staller, pointed out that Bin Laden could learn from Saddam Hussein's mistakes.
Cicciolina knows that men, evil ones in particular, need good sex, and not just the Arab kind where women just lay there until the deed is done. She brings to the bedroom extensive experience in group sex, anal sex, double penetration, and watersports. The "boobalicious" star of the 1986 porn masterpiece Cicciolina Number One - Horsepower knows that male-centered cultures such as the one that produced Bin Laden ignore the importance of satisfying sex between equals. For, as a recent survey found, "When mama's not happy, nobody's happy." And with a happy mama like Cicciolina, and hopefully equally happy and active mamas throughout the region keeping their men smiling, holy wars are bound to lose their appeal.
I say Cicciolina should move to the Middle East and open a school to spread the art of good and satisfying lovemaking to the Arab and Muslim household. The school can be based in Beirut.