As-Safir broke this story this morning. The Decapitator was spared an assassination attempt thanks to the watchful eyes of the Lebanese military intelligence, who arrested nine Lebanese and Palestinian would-be assassins after "acting suspiciously" near Hizbullah's headquarters in the southern Beirut district of Haret Horeik. The Lebanese army's arsenal also gained a few weapons that were discovered with the suspects.
The nine suspects were reportedly planning to blow up the head of God's party on his way to the last day of "national dialogue" on April 28. They allegedly worked on their "no mistakes allowed" plan for over a month. They, however, made the fatal mistake of loitering near Hizbullah's headquarters for weeks, pointing fingers at Nasrallah's convoy and engaging in target practice. Every night, they built a fire and danced around it chanting "death to the Persian doll". They were finally caught when one of them accidentally parked his car in Nasrallah's reserved spot, and a scratched picture of Nasrallah was discovered attached to a voodoo-doll and a small bag of Zionist powder. When told, Nasrallah breathed a sigh of relief. He apparently had been feeling sharp needle-like pains since the start of the national dialogue, which often denied other participants his undivided attention. Thank God the capable men of the Lebanese military intelligence foiled this heinous plot on time and spared Nasrallah a most uncomfortable loin pain.
Too bad Rafik Hariri, Samir Kassir, Bassel Fleihan, George Hawi and Gibran Tueni weren't as lucky.